PARENTING STYLES SHAPING OUR ADULTHOOD

Do you ever wonder how you turned out the way you are?

Why some adults are more upright then others, or why others are fun and delightful? As cliché as it sounds , it all comes back to our childhood. Depending on the households we grew up in, our adult personalities are shaped. Before we begin remember that it’s never too late to change your future, even if certain past events have left a strong impact on you.

Let’s get familiar with 9 different types of parents, to understand the role they play in our lives:-

1. Authoritative parents-

· They tend to have high levels of demands along with responsiveness for their children. In other words, they expect you to behave well while also providing you sufficient support.

· Children are likely to become more independent and empathetic if they grow up under this type of parenting style.

2. Authoritarian parents-

· They have high level of demand, but low levels of responsiveness. For example, they will expect you to do well in school or on competitions but are unlikely to provide any love and support you need.

· Children have a higher probability of becoming more scared and insecure. For example, they might use unfair means to score well on test.

3. Permissive parents-

· They have low levels of demand, but high levels of responsiveness. In other words, they tend to care a lot about their children, allowing them to do whatever they like.

· Children tend to become more spoiled and impulsive as they grow older.

4. Neglectful parents-

· They have low demand and responsiveness. They don’t seem to give you the required attention as they are too busy or cold and aloof.

· Due to all neglect children experience, they are likely to experience lack of confidence and self-esteem.

5. Alcoholic parents-

· They are one of the most destructive for children’s development.

· Since alcohol has a significant influence on cognition and behaviour after intensive consumption, it becomes impossible for these parents to take care of their children.

· Children grow up to be serious and find it difficult to trust others.

6. Joking parents-

· Most jokes are harmless and teasing in common. So how can you tell when things cross line?

If your parents have sarcastically teased you about your appearance or character, then jokes are humiliating. It can become problematic when these backhanded jokes are constantly repeated.

· Children tend to loose confidence and even feel worthless.

7. Abusive parents-

· They see their children as a way to vent and release their anger. They types of abuse can vary from being verbal, physical, and sexual. This a severe type which needs to be addressed.

· Prolonged exposure to this type of parents can result in helplessness, losing hope, growing up to be scared, suppressing emotions, and having a strong desire for revenge.

8. Helicopter parents-

· This type of parenting is defined as “hyper involvement in a child’s life”.

· Children are more likely to grow up co-dependent. For example as an adult you might rely on your partner to take care of house chores, or have a trouble adapting to work life.

· Children grow up to doubt their abilities since they’ve never had to figure out anything on their own. They might start questioning whether they’re equipped to manage life on their own.

9. Divorced parents-

· Disagreements are a part of life and the first place children learn how to handle them is in the home, by watching their parents. If there is limited modelling of successful conflict resolution, there will be limited learning of successful relationship skills.

· Children experiencing separation of parents during their early childhood, according to studies, are prone to having higher demands when it comes to romantic relationships. For example, expecting their partner to show a higher degree of morality, loyalty, and compassion to be able to trust them better.

It is never too late to change something. If anything that has been passed on to you by your parents and their behaviour (good or bad), it is upto you to keep it and let it go.

Things you don’t wish to keep, you can let them go step by step and the first of all the steps is to accept who you are as a person, including good and bad habits and then you can let go of these things eventually, you can cut the strings with no hard feelings, because at the end it is best to let go of things that are not serving you.

It is always easier said than done but we all have to start somewhere and for that we should all accept ourselves as we are.